Long journey

Life is so short. I experienced it.
I asked myself what I would like to do if I know my life will end?

What do I want to do?
Where do I want to go?
Who do I want to see?

I found that my answers are so clear.

I want to continue doing things I planned to do. No changes should be made.
I want to go to places I've never been to, one after another.
I want to see my dear friends around the world, visit every single one of them who made my life colorful.

The journey will be lonely, but I am coping with it.

Thank you,
K, Miguel, Michael, Areti, Daniel, Blandine, Emma, and Raquel.
The trips are difficult to plan for there are too many destinations,
but I am really glad that you will be there for me.

We will have my birthday in Spanish way,
Take long walks and talks in German woods,
Have wonderful friendship and my dreams in England,
Enjoy artistic and relaxing moments at the French Cafes,
Drink nice Greek Frappe for a hot summer day,
Smoke Turkish shisha in the ruins of history,
Write by the lake in Swiss Alps.

Then, I will see my motherland.

The journey will be lonely, but I will be happy.

Lost my mobile

I lost my mobile just a few hours ago.
Now I am sure it is gone, no one will be so nice to return it to me.

I don't care about the money for me to get a new mobile or to apply for the old number,
the thing is that I lost many important numbers, a lot of them, overseas.
It will be a crazy job for me to ask everyone to send me their numbers again.

Another thing is that I lost some photos I would like to keep in that mobile.
It's just like history, even my photos are leaving me.

I read you

Reading is something important in my life, just like writing.
You get to read the deepest thoughts that can't be say in speaking words.
You read characters, emotions, and feelings.

So I read.
Every single word.

I read you.
Therefore, I understand you.

I write about you.
Therefore, you'll understand me... when you grow up.

Stoned

I started my crazy party life again about 4 weeks ago.
It was days and nights, constant parties.
I can't eat and I can't sleep, party seems to be a solution to me.
Haven't experienced this since I was 25.

Last night was classic-
I have to admit, I have never been this stoned before.

The whole evening, I feel I am the slowest person in the entire world.

"The apple is running..."
"My legs are fast but I am slow..."

I woke up at a strange environment,
I thought I was going to feel uncomfortable about it.
But, it turned out to be relaxing.
Thank you E for being a gentleman,
Took me in, gave me food, let me showered, and made me laughed.
Like I said, this process was tough. And you helped.

Finally, I am feeling hungry and tired today.
The stonest night, the slowest me.

Stepped out

Finally, I stepped out.
From the world of R.

I didn't think too much.
I just did it.
I took the taxi, went straight to the place.
I laughed, I drank, I smoked.

Then I found my feet outside the world of R.
Beginning: 2am, June 11, 2005
End: 2am, February 16, 2006

I know there will be no turning back now,
Once you stepped out, it's histroy.
Because the vow is broken.

Insomnia

Spent 10 hours online last night, did absolutely nothing.
Sold some stuff on Yahoo Auctions, checked emails, updated blog, read news,
and ...
a lot of searching...

Have you ever miss someone or something so badly that you try so hard search about it or him or her online? Have you ever checked out that particular person's information over and over and over again online as if it would change every time you push that magical bottom "re-fresh the page"?

The most difficult time for me is some time like right now, deep at night. Sleepless.
I have insomnia problem for the past 5 years.
I found that I sleep much better if there's someone next to me.
To be accurate, there were only 3 people that I actually can sleep next to and feel so comfortable about.
When they departed from my life one after another, I became sleepless.

The most difficult time for me is right now.
The night is so deep, I can only hear the typing on my laptop and nothing else.
My brain is full of thoughts, restless thoughts, like a stream of river.
As if my sleeping bear inside me is about to wake up.

I don't remember a lot of things,
but I know I miss you so much.

Grand opening

I had to let some of my articles go if I want this blog open to everyone.
So I deleted them as part of my memories cannot be shared.
It's good, in a way, those articles shouldn't stay.
I will have them written in my novel.

Then, we'll see.
I often change my mind.

Back

Professsional photographers can actually capture the best shots. They made people beautiful

Port

I bought a bottle of port from Portugal because I liked it when I tried in one late afternoon in Macau. The atmosphere was right, I was with my good friend from Paris.

Then this bottle of port sit in my cellaret for the past 9 month.
I opened other bottles sitting around it, but never this particular bottle of port.

Days passed,
I began losing my memories of the taste of it,
I wasn't even quite sure why I wanted it then.
It just sits there, quietly.

Two days ago,
I craved some cheese or brie badly.
Happily spent fortune on it.
Went home.
Suddenly, the crave of some wine hit my brain.
"It would be wonderful to open a bottle of red wine now with my cheese,"
I thought to myself.

Then, I realized that I have...
6 different bottles of white wine
3 bottles of strong liquor
1 bottle of Baileys

But there is no red but this particular bottle of port, which I don't even remember how it tastes.

"What the heck," I said to myself.
I have K opened it, we sat down with cheese and this port.

Just like that,
I have my second encounter with this port from Portugal.
When it touched my tongue, my whole taste bud revived.
All the reasons why I wanted this bottle of port, suddenly came back to me.
It was so nice that I blamed myself letting it sit there for so long,
and even worse, not to remember how wonderful it is.

Sometimes first experience was wonderful,
so we try to keep it by owning it.
But days after days, it gets less interesting and less imaginary.
We begin losing the original wonderfulness of it.
Until one day,
there's a second experience.
This experience of wonderfulness normally last much longer than the first.

It applies to everything, every objects and every human beings.

Tattoo

A pair of wings designed by my name.
Ming, on the left.
Ying, on the right.

Ming is the Sun and the Moon, it means bright and smart.
Ying is the representitive of modern, intelligence and new.

The wings are quietly lying against each other,
Nicely stay at the lower back of mine,
The sensible part of my body.

You may see my wings when I am in my jeans and bent over my upper body,
You may see my wings, if you are lucky.